" Then what's the matter?" I asked.My mother took a puff from her cigarette and inhaled deeply to steadyherself. There was an odd look on her face, a mixture of concern,confusion, and love."Are you happy, Darren? Is anything bothering you? Anything you'd liketo talk about at all?"This was weird. What brought this on, I wondered. I shrugged, hoping toease her worries. "I'm fine, Mom, why? Did you think I was gettingbullied or something? I'm not the biggest guy on the team, but I am afootball player. I can take care of myself."She smiled gently. "No, of course not. I was thinking about somethingelse and it's just a lot harder to talk about than I thought it wouldbe."I pulled over a chair from the dining room table and sat down next toher. I gripped her hand reassuringly."Well, if this is about drugs, then you and Dad can relax because I'mnot taking them and I don't want to take them. I'm okay, really, andeverything is fine."My mother took a long drag on her cigarette and exhaled a. I don't have to search for it as I did when I first came out of the hospital. So here is what I think so far," I said. "I think things I do everyday tend to stay with me. What would happen if I didn't make coffee for a month is anybody's guess." Well the thing about waking up and knowing that you have to check the file is a huge improvement in my book. Do you know where you are when you wake up?" he asked."Yes, but I still have no idea how I got there. I mean did I go out the night before and kill kittens before you rescued me. For that I have to check the journal," I explained."Well you might never get it all back, but every little bit helps. Maybe it's like building a brick walkway. You have to do it one brick at a time." he suggested."Well aren't you Mary Sunshine today?" I asked. I had no idea where the Mary Sunshine came from, but I knew that it was appropriate. Many times what I said was not appropriate at all."Be positive that's what I have learned," Royce said."Good for you..
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